My personal hell

You're looking at what has become my life without my consultation, counsel, or consent. I HATE every bit of it, and that is putting it mildly.

Be very glad that you are not living this.

If I can't help me.........

then I surely have no business trying to help someone else. 

I thought that the experiences that we have in life were for us to learn from and overcome possibly We could then be that fountain of wisdom for someone else who would eventually cross our path, and we would be able to make their load lighter.  Or perhaps, shared our lantern so they could see the way more clearly, offered our hand when they stumbled.

I've recently discovered that I am in no position to be that person.  It would seem more that people are put in our path to glaringly cast a spotlight on all of our mistakes, or administer that all important, "I told you so".
In all of my efforts to make wrong things right, I've set a terrible precedent to those who unwittingly would follow me through no choice of their own.  I've conveyed the message, "I don't think I'm valuable, and you shouldn't value me either".

I know nothing.  In the grand scheme of things.  I don't see myself getting any smarter about anything.  Right now I just feel that everything I've gone through has been for not.

Someone's having a birthday...........

And has no idea what they are in for...........yet.

Oh yeah!

View from the driver's side.

That's right it's filled with balloons.

Sadly, I ran out of balloons before it was completely filled up. There's 72 of them in there.  However, just imagine dealing with this at 6:00am and you're headed for work.  What to do, what to do?

Happy Birthday, Lee!

I'm awesome like that. :)

Planking fun............................

I love, love, love my kids!!!  My 16 year old son makes for some wonderful laughs in our home.  I was uploading some photos and had forgotten about one hilarious night he and I were having with the camera.

Gotta love this kid.

Planking my exercise ball.

Planking the dining room table.

Planking my exercise step.

Planking a chair.

Planking my car in the garage.

Planking the toillette.

Planking the lawn chair.

Planking the electrical boxes out front.

Planking the cab of Dad's truck.

Planking the back of Dad's truck.

Planking the block wall.

Planking his bed.

Planking the half wall between the living room and dining room.

My Mark definitely makes me laugh.

It's the little things.........

that you get excited about.  I've been researching, taken polls, and studied the pros and cons of having an above-the-range microwave. 

Finally, the need for much needed counter top real estate, approximately a year of research, and a wicked model closeout sale at Best Buy won me over.  Let me just say that I love it and my kitchen is now huge.

I was kidding about the huge kitchen, but, you get the gist. :)

Hunger Games

Looking forward to a little movie called the Hunger Games in March.  Have you read the books?  I read all three of them last month.  I really enjoyed them.  Not enough to replace my Twilight obsession, but enough that I'm very excited to see this movie. 

I love it when they make movies out of books.  It's funny though, when they cast the characters in the movies, I can never again picture what I thought the character looked like in my head.  Oh well, at least they pick some pretty people. :)

Touched by an angel........

I know this gal because she was in my ward when we moved here almost 5 years ago.  Then, my daughter married her cousin.  This gal was pregnant with her first child in 8 years of marriage, a blessing definitely wanted and waited a very long time for.

Tonight this gal gave birth at 38 weeks to a stillborn baby girl.  What heartbreak this little family is experiencing right now.  By extension, this heartbreak is being felt right along with them by so many.  Whether family, friend, or acquaintance (I think I fall more into the acquaintance category, as they moved to military life shortly after we got here) we have been touched by this precious angel.  This beautiful daughter of our Heavenly Father.

Where I work, there is a gal who is pregnant with her first child.  After 12 years of marriage and her resignation that it probably wouldn't be a blessing realized.  She is due to give birth any day.  We are so excited for her.

I am struck with quiet reverence tonight.  For the blessing of children, and feeling like I want to hug and hold each of mine and just let the tears fall.  Tears of happiness for my children who make my life whole.  Tears of sadness for women (for we are all mothers) who's arms are empty for whatever reason and knowing that Heavenly Father has a plan for each and every one of us. 

God be with you, Mihaela Jane.