The Most Wonderful Wife and Mother Award...

Goes to none other than...

Charmen Johnson!

Congratulations, my love, you earned it.

Lee

And the Bad Mother and Wife of the Year Award goes to......

Yes, it's a select group of women that belong here with me. Oh sure, you don't think this would be you, but you would be wrong about that.

And to think you were going for Best Mother and Wife of the Year. You toiled long hours cleaning your home to spotless perfection only to have it messed up by your ungrateful kids. The nerve. You slaved over a hot meal only to hear, "I don't like that", or "I'm having cereal"!

You spend your day with your endless checklist in your mind's eye, giving yourself a tiny checkmark next to the things that you are able to accomplish as you work your full time paying job. To no avail, there is always something that you didn't do. Oh, you wanted to get it all done, there just isn't enough day and certainly not enough you.

There are no 'thank you's' that come with this award. Just a quick kick in the booty and a helping of 'why didn't you do this?'

Bad Mothers and Wives, unite! Our claim to glory will be "You never did anything and you were never there for me."