You don't know me.

Been feeling beaten down of late. Actually feeling rather alone. 

I've tried to always do what I think my Heavenly Father expects of me.  I have sought out the help of so called family only to be rejected and scorned.  It would seem as though I'm not worthy of compassion of any sort.  I've been labeled as things that I am not.  At first, it makes me angry and then, when the anger has subsided I am left with the thought, "You don't know me." 

If you really knew me, you wouldn't treat me so poorly.  I AM a good person. All I have ever done is try to help other people.  I have heard the things people have said about me when they've thought I didn't hear them.  You just don't know me.

 

Oops, I did it again.

Christmas has come and gone.  Again.  I'm going to be honest here, my Christmas was ruined.  It isn't important to you why, but it was.

I didn't get around to Christmas cards and newsletters because I didn't have the strength to put a positive spin on what I've been experiencing.  I didn't get the Christmas tree up until the Thursday before Christmas and I had to because I couldn't steal Christmas away from Mark.  He deserves the very best of me.

Christmas has always been my favorite time of year.  This year I couldn't wait for it to be over so that I didn't have to experience the heartache of knowing that others were feeling so blessed, and it just passed me over.

No lights on the house.  No decorating of every room in the house that I've loved so much in the past. 

I got a note in the mail today saying that they missed my letter.  I am sorry.