Friday, September 24, 2010

Makayla Ashleigh Johnson


Meet our brand new baby granddaughter. She was born September 23, 2010 at 9:34pm. She weighed in at 8 lbs 15 oz and 23 inches long. Oh, how we love her already!

Being there for Makayla's birth is ranked up on my top ten list of best moments of my life. I was there when Brittany had her baby, and now Andrew has a little girl of his own. I hope to be present with all of my grandchildren's births.

I really thought that since Jennifer (baby's mommy) isn't my daughter, that I would feel a little more detached from the experience. Jennifer has been wonderful in that she invited me to be there for doctor's appointments and ultrasounds. I got to be in the delivery room along with her mother.

When Jennifer was pushing, my mother instinct kicked in and the tears started flowing. Jennifer worked so hard! Makayla was delivered, and I watched my son attending to her on the little isolette table. It's hard to describe the pride you feel when you see your child becoming a parent for the first time. He was crying, and I was overwhelmed with my feelings of love for him. My baby has a baby!

Andrew has always been and is so attentive to Jennifer, and now, their daughter. I hope that had a little bit to do with me in raising him to be a caring and loving man.

Brittany also had the opportunity to be present when Makayla was born. I have been so worried about her feelings too. Her daughter is still so very present with us, and always will be.

I'm rambling, I think, because I am tired. This much I know, Makayla is beautiful and we love her so much already. Andrew and Jennifer are already wonderful parents. Brittany is going to be okay. And, I love my family more than anything.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

I love my brother.



My brother, Nathan, is so awesome. Yeah, he's the boy who used to hit me and pull my hair when we were younger. But, I digress.........

Nathan and I are only 12 months apart, always have been. He is my "little" brother only in the sense that he will always be 12 months younger than me. I've watched this little brother grow up and become an incredible man.

I'm not biased. Just ask his "girls". Yesterday was his 20th anniversary of wedded bliss to his lovely wife, Shawna. He just recently married off his oldest daughter. They had two more daughters after that, and finally a son.

Nathan is incredibly considerate with his ladies. Yesterday his daughter, my niece, posted on her blog about how he always still opens all doors for his wife and daughters. Some women would be offended by that, but not this one, and definitely not his ladies.

It's precious that his children see how wonderful he is. He's smart and handsome. Yeah, I might not have used that word about him as we were growing up, but he is.

Now, my daughter is marrying Nate. My brother and Brittany's fiance actually have the same name, Nathaniel.

Just felt like sharing my sisterly pride today.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Carry On

The monsoon winds whipped at her gown as she walked and carried off her tears as they fell down her cheeks. For this, she was grateful, as it would erase her telltale sorrow to cars passing by.

That night was to serve as the crescendo of her life thus far. She had worked for thirteen years to achieve, have her name called, and that pride of accomplishment that should most certainly swell in her heart.

Hours earlier, the girl painstakingly ironed out the packing creases of her gown. Her gown was deeply purple in color. She nervously daydreamed of the processional and how the music of "Pomp and Circumstance" would make her feel as she walked across the football field. The music carries the melancholy of a space of time ending, and new beginnings.

She dressed in her best skirt and carefully did her hair. She carried that gown into the car so that it would not get wrinkled again before she got there, her graduation. She rode in the car with her mother, and brothers, and sisters. Upon arrival at the school parking lot, her mother was agitated by the others trying to park.

She warned the girl several times that she was not to associate with her classmates when it was over, but, that she was to get her butt back to the car so that she could leave. The girl's face did not give away her disappointment at her mother. She had had a long time to perfect this quality, so as to avoid her mother's ridicule.

The processional was just as the girl had imagined. Music always served as a soundtrack to her life. She often disappeared into it. The lyrics would offer her promise of a better; no different, life. As she walked across that field and saw all of the faces that were beaming with pride at their son or daughter, niece or nephew, grandson or granddaughter. Her eyes scanned the crowd searching for her mother, just to see if she was happy too. The girl didn't see her, but quickly countered to herself that there were just too many people to see.

It seemed to take forever as the nearly 1,000 names were called to walk across the stage and be given their "diploma". They didn't actually give you your diploma that night, it would come in the mail later that week. Or maybe you had to go and pick it up the next day? That part of the memory is faded.

As the concluding speaker wished the graduates success in their lives, the girl became all at once nervous again. She knew that now would be the moment when the graduates would toss their mortarboards into the air as their final act together as a class. She could not be concerned with this timeless tradition, she needed to get back to the car straightaway.

As the caps were still airborn, parents and loved ones streamed onto the field. Classmates and loved ones were hugging one another, but not the girl. She had cleared the crowd as quickly as she could, hoping not to draw any attention to herself. She ran to the parking lot. The girl went straight to where her mother had parked, but the car was not there. She checked herself for a moment, then quickly ran up the rows of cars, perhaps she was mistaken where the car was.

Back and forth and up and down she quickly looked, each moment feeling more panicked than before. The girl continued to look for nearly half an hour, and finally concluded that her mother, and brothers, and sisters were not there. But, when did they leave? There wasn't an empty parking spot in the whole lot. And then it hit her.

People were starting to come into the parking lot now. The girl knew what she had to do. She made a hasty retreat from the parking lot and began to walk away from the school, for the last time. She walked quickly, to get out of the glare of the lights and turned onto the street that terrified her for its darkness. That night, however, she was grateful for the darkness, for then she let them come. The tears. The anger that she was never allowed to show.

The girl slowed her stride on that dark street. She lived 2 miles from that school and it gave her time. Time to vent her rage. How could a mother do that to their child? How could a mother be so blatantly selfish as to steal her daughter's one important night? The tears were falling freely, and she couldn't stop them if she tried and this time she didn't want to. The girl hoped that no one she knew would see the pathetic girl walking home in her deeply purple gown, alone, from her high school graduation.

The girl finally reached home, her mother's car was not there either. But, her brothers and sisters were inside. The mother had gone out on a date with a man. This was the mother the girl knew all too well. The same mother that insisted that if she wasn't in bars all night, then she was one of the good ones.

--I am CJ and this is a true story. I'm considering a second life as a possible writer. Your comments are appreciated.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

The fairy tale.


It's true. Despite my upbringing, and I use that term loosely, I believed that there was a prince for every girl. I dreamed, although I never truly believed it would come true, that the prince did exist and would come trotting in on his white horse and save the day.

I dreamed that he would be the guy who would wash his wife's car at least once a month and make sure that she never sullied her hands with outdoor dirt. He would also make sure and consistently check to see that her vehicle was in top working order.

The prince would be the caretaker of the royal gardens. He would make sure that it was in showplace condition and a pleasing place to stroll, have great outdoor conversations, and drink delicious hot cocoa.

The prince would never ever allow the princess to touch the royal refuse.

The prince would make sure that what was important to the princess was important to him, because he loved her. It wouldn't have mattered if it wasn't important to him, just that it mattered to him because it mattered to her.

The princess tossed and turned, as if having a nightmare of sorts. She awakens.



There was a pea under the mattress.

Disclaimer: There were no princes injured in the concoction of this tale. Proceed as you would slowing on the freeway to see what the emergency lights are about, look, and then be on your way.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Tender mercies.

I received a blessing from my neighbor's son night before last. I'm grateful for this. Things have not been well in the land of Nod, and I was reeling and losing myself in the process. I didn't remember who I was and that I have a Heavenly Father who is aware of me and the struggles I have to face daily.

I needed comfort. I needed peace. I still do. I have been alone in this far too long.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

It's September, I'm ready already!

It may be a stretch, being that I live in Arizona, to ask for cooler temps and pretty colors. It is however, September and I'm getting extremely jealous of people who live anywhere but here. Why am I still here again?



My niece, Cali, just got married to her Jeff on August 14th. Will you look at this picture please? Aside from the beautiful bride and her handsome groom, did you see the trees? August 14th people!



Apple pie, pumpkins, hot cocoa, piles of crunchy leaves, jackets, and homemade pot pies. Spiced cider, red and gold, playing in the yard, and going on endless walks.

In the words of Jenny from Forrest Gump, "please God, make me a bird, so I can fly far; far, far away from here".