You don't know me.

Been feeling beaten down of late. Actually feeling rather alone. 

I've tried to always do what I think my Heavenly Father expects of me.  I have sought out the help of so called family only to be rejected and scorned.  It would seem as though I'm not worthy of compassion of any sort.  I've been labeled as things that I am not.  At first, it makes me angry and then, when the anger has subsided I am left with the thought, "You don't know me." 

If you really knew me, you wouldn't treat me so poorly.  I AM a good person. All I have ever done is try to help other people.  I have heard the things people have said about me when they've thought I didn't hear them.  You just don't know me.

 

Oops, I did it again.

Christmas has come and gone.  Again.  I'm going to be honest here, my Christmas was ruined.  It isn't important to you why, but it was.

I didn't get around to Christmas cards and newsletters because I didn't have the strength to put a positive spin on what I've been experiencing.  I didn't get the Christmas tree up until the Thursday before Christmas and I had to because I couldn't steal Christmas away from Mark.  He deserves the very best of me.

Christmas has always been my favorite time of year.  This year I couldn't wait for it to be over so that I didn't have to experience the heartache of knowing that others were feeling so blessed, and it just passed me over.

No lights on the house.  No decorating of every room in the house that I've loved so much in the past. 

I got a note in the mail today saying that they missed my letter.  I am sorry. 

She's had a birthday, shout hooray!

Lady Bits is One!!! Ooh, I just love this girl to pieces. She had an awesome birthday complete with family and baby friends. She was dressed in a cute pink and silver tutu skirt, pink, glitttery butterfly shirt, hairbows to match, and pretty silver shoes. The party got under way and there were blowers for everyone until Miss Makayla started to eat hers.

Makayla is about one of the neatest eaters you've ever met. She doesn't like food on her face and when she eats her snacks, she takes dainty little bites. Did I mention that I love her? She got a lot of new toys and some necessities.

Another shot of Makayla and Uncle Mark. They share a very special relationship.

Auntie Brittany comes over on her days off just to play.

I can't believe how fast this first year has gone! Makayla, you are so loved. Happy First Birthday sweetness.

Agency and Elder Bednar.

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The word agency is bandied about quite a bit when one is making choices that are contrary to what they should. Elder Bednar came to our stake last month when our stake presidency was reorganized. Let me just say that what he had to say on the matter was very timely. To quote Elder Bednar, "Agency is not to do what you want when you will." In the instance where one has made sacred covenants to be a witness of Jesus Christ and to do His will, your agency is then to do just that. To do anything to the contrary of that once you have made those covenants is to your detriment. Therefore, yes, we do have free agency. It does not mean you can do whatever you want. I love Elder Bednar and his forthrightness. He, in my opinion is the Dr. Phil of apostles. Telling it like it is.

General Conference

To quote President Thomas S. Monson, "Hi!" I thought he was completely adorable when he did that! I learned a lot this General Conference weekend and was grateful for the pick me up. It's been a struggle these last few years for me. There are times that I feel so spiritually dead. It is not easy having a spouse who has made a conscious decision to be completely and totally inactive. It's hard to feel the Spirit when there is such an opposition in my own home to having the environment to actively have those feelings. I'm sad. I'm angry. My life is definitely not where I thought it would be at this time. I don't hold much hope that it will ever change.

And we're back.

It's been a long hot summer and I'm so happy that the temperatures are finally getting cooler. We've had another wedding! On August 16, 2011 Andrew and Jennifer got married.



They were originally going to get married in November, but, the kids called me on August 2nd and said, "we're thinking about moving up the wedding." I said, "when?", to which they replied, "August 16th". !!!!!

Well, short notice indeed, but, pulled off without a hitch. If you "follow" me on Facebook you already know that this wedding was kept a secret from everyone including Lee. Now before you get your panties in a bunch, he was there. They just wanted it be a surprise. Don't believe me? I have proof.


Don't spend too much time looking at the image of me in this photo. I have had my hair cut since Brittany's wedding and am not happy with it. Don't try to tell me it looks good, I won't believe you. Just look at the bride, the groom, the beautiful baby, and of course, the daddy.

Here's a sweet photo of the back of Makayla's head with the back of her Uncle Mark's head. I just have a thing for back of the head photos. I think it also depicts the very sweet relationship that these two have with each other.


Don't you just love those ponies? They just kill me.

Speaking of killing me. This little one does it for me. I just love her stuffing!


Again with the ponies. Being a grandma is absolutely the best! I love how when she sees me it's like, "bye Mom and Dad!" She's so excited to see me. I LOVE this girl!



I cannot get enough of her. Everything she does is cute. Even when she uses my finger to practice biting on. I just let her bite the thumb I destroyed in November of last year trying to get baby toys out of packaging. Nerve damage, don't feel a thing.



I love bringing her to church with me. I have been fortunate in that Miss Makayla's parents have let her have sleepovers at grandma's house since she was only a month old. They get some sleep, I get to spoil. It's a win win all around!

And the piece de resistance, just in from Hollywood:



Those sunglasses! That Cindy Lou Who pony! I cannot get enough of her.

Lucky me, I get to have her for a few hours tomorrow. :D

Overhaul

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