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I've been sick this last week. Being sick, I don't tend to see the positive in life very well. Fallout from my childhood, I suppose. I don't enjoy being sick or enjoy being around people who are sick.

I'm considering shutting down my blog. I'm not as clever as I thought I was and it's too hard for me not to want to vent here. I don't have little kids at home that do cute little kid things, so what to blog about?

Life was easier when my kids were little. I didn't think so then, but I do now. I love my kids. I just don't know how to love some of the decisions that they make. Heavenly Father must think I can handle a lot more than I can. I beg to differ here.

Too much of my life has been defined by loss and the deep yearning for what I have never had. I'm not talking about material things, just things that most people have and take for granted that they have it. And it makes me mad that for whatever reason, it has been withheld from me.

Things that make you go..........Hhmmmmmmmmmmmm

I have a few queries to pose to my general public. Have you ever been "un" friended on Facebook? If someone accepted your friend request and then a few weeks down the road unfriends you, what does that mean?

What is the best way to make a major life change? Like a bandaid, pulling one little hair off at a time, or right off?

Pitted olives have no pits, so why are they "pitted"?

There has been a lot of talk about domestic violence in light of the Chris Brown/Rihanna incident. Why, in your experience, do you think women go back to men like this?

I'd just like to know your thoughts. Thanks.

Progress

I think I'm making some progress in my vow to play more. The last two nights (after 10:30pm, mind you) I have stayed up late with Mark at my side as we have played games on Facebook. So, if you were to happen upon my wall, please know that I haven't a clue about anything Spongebob, Star Wars or Trek, Family Guy, or Harry Potter. That's all Mark! He is helping my overall score though. Me? I'm a little partial to the 80's song quizzes and Friends quizzes.

Today was my first real play day for Mark's spring break extravaganza. Up to this point I have been working like a maniac and cleaning carpet and in general, spring cleaning. The dust bunnies were multiplying as fast as the bunnies in the neighborhood, so I had to forge ahead with my abatement process. The vacuum cleaner has had quite a workout, not that I mind that. I LOVE to vacuum!

Anyway, back to the play. Mark and I got up this morning at the ripe early time of, oh, 9:30am. And that was only because Lee called and woke me up. Mark, I still had to wake up so that we could hit the JB's breakfast buffet before they closed up shop on that at 11:00am.

We then mosied over to the Big Lots and Dollar Tree to see what kind of deals they had. Spent a grand total of $12.00. We went home to let the dogs out for a bit, then Brittany joined us (it's her day off, and by the way, she LOVES her new job!). We went bowling, cruised the mall, visited my sectional, looked at cute puppies, and ate crap. It was fantastic!

Yes, I think I am making progress.

I miss you, Andrew.

So, it took me a bit of convincing to get Andrew out to our place for his father's birthday celebration. What with the long drive from Peoria and the fancy boot that he wears for his owie toe, I did finally do just that. I haven't seen him since New Years and his hair has turned a lot darker! It's turned a deep dark brown with some deep red highlights (wonder where he got those from?)

It's been a hard adjustment for me to let my older two grow up and out of our home. They are so fiercely independent. I have to remind myself that this is what I wanted for them, but at the same time missing the days when I could make everything all better.

I love you and miss you Andrew. And so does Riley.

Ride 'em Cowboy!

"You've had a birthday shout hooray!"
"We want to sing to you today,"
"One year older and wiser too,"
"Happy Birthday (CLAP) to you!"

Guess who had a birthday? I got a delicious idea from Joanne Asburry in January to take my beloved to Texas Roadhouse for his birthday, after she told me about the big howdy do that they do for birthday boys and girls.

They have this saddle.........



...........and they yell in a very loud and cowboy (in this case, cowgirl) fashion, so that the whole restaurant can hear and participate, that Lee is having his 43rd birthday today and can we all give him a "YEEHAW!" So, everyone, myself included gives him the yeehaw. It took quite a bit of doing to get my man on the saddle in the first place. Can you believe he was going to act like an "Old Fart" and not do it? Thankfully, I had these guys here to help me convince him....



Thank you Andrew and Mark for your very persuasive tactics! I made Lee a "manly" necklace at Jewelry night the night before (he's wearing it in the picture), and purchased him some new smell from our friendly neighborhood Avon lady. All in all, I think he had a good day, but you wouldn't guess from this picture.......



Happy Birthday Cowboy!

Three, three wonderful children.....agh, agh, agh! (read: The Count from Sesame Street)

Did I mention I have three wonderful children? They have been busy being their wonderful selves, let me tell you. We'll start with this last Sunday evening.

I was tired as usual. (We have the 1-4:00pm shift for church) Primary can be exhausting like that when you have church at nap time. Anyway, I know that 5:00pm is a little late in the day to be laying down, when bedtime is not so far away. Needless to say, I snoozed anyway. I was awakened by my wonderful son, Mark. Mark had made dinner and it was ready. He made what we call "Tater tot stuff". I just was overwhelmed by my feelings of love and gratitude for him. I couldn't stop hugging him all night.

I told him I was going to gush on my blog about him, he said it was okay. Notice I have no picture, I need: A. a new camera and B. new batteries for my old one.

Enter yesterday. I had worked an all-nighter the night before and my neck and shoulders were wound up in such a knot that I had no hope of recovering from it on my own. (Picture here a woman shackled to her desk and staring intently at the pile of paperwork and computer screen in front of her.) I was having trouble turning my head either direction, but who should come to my rescue? Magic hands herself, Brittany.

Brittany started working on me and asks, "Mother, what have you been doing?!" She then gently scolds me to not work so hard, do stretching exercises, etc. What can I say? She's a miracle healer, I feel great today! She has been working at Massage Envy for a week now and has gotten nothing but compliments from her customers. I asked her if she believes me now when I say she has magic hands, to which she replied, "Yes".

Owee toe Andrew? He's still hobbling and providing me with his brand of comic relief. He's antsy for his full mobility to return. I just tell him that he has something wonderful to look forward to on March 29th, Riley's first birthday party. All of his dog friends are invited, it will be the soiree of the season!

Wii, wii, wii all the way home.

Okay. I've had what Oprah might call a light bulb moment. I never really even realized that I had a problem until last night. You see, I was invited to attend a Bachelor finale get together last night with a bunch of other gals in the ward. Now, mind you, I have not even watched one episode of the Bachelor, but I was wanting to hang out and have a good time.

I was born a grown up. Always had a lot of responsibility and no time for play or watching television, as most kids are accustomed in their formative years. I never have liked cartoons or what most would consider childish things. I never had Barbies or a bike or ever went to Disneyland. I still have never seen most movies that some would consider an elemental part of growing up. ie: Mary Poppins, Sound of Music, etc.

Dry your eyes. Last night as I arrived at the Twilley's home, Jared and Michelle were playing Tetris on the Wii. For me it was the sweetest sight, but at the same time realizing, "I never do this." I don't play enough. I don't play. Jared tried to show me how to play the game, but for all I was worth at it, I might as well have been born a dog without poseable thumbs.

So, the moral of this story is this. I have learned that there is more to life than all business. Sure, I laugh a lot and make jokes constantly, but that is just my cover to hide what is lacking in me. I have learned that I take the phrase in my patriarchal blessing "Life is not easy, nor was it ever meant to be" as an absolute in everything I do. I forget to see the joy.

I am going to challenge Mark to a game of bowling on the Wii when he gets home from school.