Not sure if I'm really writing this.

I've typed and deleted this post a thousand times. Hidden behind my "Sunday face" and my constant joking lies the pain that I carry. I have a husband that refuses to help me. I have for 16 years and counting, worked fulltime to offset what he does not make to provide for our family. In addition to this, I have been responsible for taking care of our children, cleaning our home, taking care of our lawn, and taking care of the dogs.

As I type this, he is asleep. When I am working he is either watching television, sitting at the computer, or sleeping. I am fairly certain that the fact that I am actually writing this will serve to strain relationships that are probably conditional at best.

I was advised that I needed to find out what it was like for my husband to have to work for a living back when I got a job. It was supposed to be temporary. Because my husband has all of the familial support in our marriage, my woes have fallen on deaf ears. I have been advised to "be patient" and to just be grateful that I even have a husband.

I guess I am ungrateful. I'm not happy. My husband refuses to change. Listening to talks in church about being cheerful and long suffering are just plain cruel. How long suffering does one need to be when they realize that they don't have a partner?

People think we have this great marriage. It's not. I sure made it look that way though. I'm not perfect nor do I in any way feel that I am. I have perfected the art of lying and blaming everything on his stroke.

My brother is waiting on my decision to come and stay with him.

My boy is in training.

I see that you all still keep checking my blog, probably wondering, "Is she ever going to post something?". Don't get your panties in a bunch. I have been avoiding the news for the last two weeks to see if it would have a more positive effect on my mood. It is nice to live in oblivion, free from murders and the state of the economy. What is the DOW up to these days? Never mind, I don't really want to know.

As I was logging on to check my email (I guess I missed going to the cannery for my order), this little treat popped across my screen:



After his little "bong" incident, he has served his suspension from training and is now back in the pool! Swimming is so much more exciting with Michael Phelps around. I don't know what's with the dude next to him, his suit makes it look like he is quite possibly swimming in the nude. I'll pass, thank you very much.

Other than this, there isn't much going on in the Johnson household. As Mark says, "there are only 3 and 1/2 more days of school left!" Mark has been eager to express his individuality and independence as of late. He wants his hair to be longer, because that's how the boys are wearing it these days. I compromised by letting it go until after the last day of school, and then SNIP SNIP! I'll post before and after shots of this next week.

Mother's Day was pretty blah. Refer to last years' post on my feelings about that. Although, I had fun making Brit a Mother's Day gift. Yes, we do honor her as well as it is a difficult day for her.

The heat is on and so is the air conditioner. Bills, bills, and more bills. I think I need a utility stimulus check for the summer. Do you think Obama would buy it?

What a couple of weeks.

I suppose it's high time that I published something for my readership. You know how it is, you just get busy. Since my last post, I was preparing mentally and physically to go to Women's Conference. It takes so much preparation to leave your family behind and go do something.

I went to Women's Conference with Elizabeth, Valynn, and Julee. Together we comprise the Primary presidency for the Baywood Ward of the Skyline Stake. We prearranged for the Stake Primary presidency to fill in for us, as we would be traveling home on Sunday.

We left on Wednesday morning and stayed at my uncle in-law's place in Springville. He was an excellent host and we were very comfortable there for what little time we spent there. The conference was on Thursday and Friday. We were exhausted as we hoofed it all over the BYU campus to get to the various classes. We lost an hour going to Utah. What a precious gift when we got that hour back when we got home!

Saturday we did the SLC thing. It pretty much rained all day, but we didn't care. We did a session at the Salt Lake Temple, ate lunch at the Joseph Smith building, and perused the shops around Temple Square.

All in all, we had a great time. Then, I got home.



I have begged, cried, wailed, and pleaded that somehow, someday I could come home from somewhere and that my family (read: husband) would bless me with the glorious gift of having filled my place so seamlessly that it would not require me to spend the next week cleaning up what was bequeathed to me. Am I asking too much? I think not since I also had to make up for the 3 days of work that I missed as well.

Heaven help me.

While I was away, the mouse was at play.

This is Charmen. Yes, the Charmen you all know and love reporting back for her very own blog duty. It would appear that my husband, Lee, (we will from this moment forward refer to him as "The Hacker") has the capability of breaking into my blog. He will not tell me how he did it; some IT secret. What is the point of a password, HE changed it!

The Hacker was informed by myself to not let anyone know that I had been to the hospital (again!) for the same 4mm pain in the kidney. Okay, I didn't know it at the time, I just knew I was in severe pain. I couldn't stand up without, how shall we say this delicately, holding myself in an inappropriate in public manner? You weren't there! You don't know! I had to try and do SOMETHING to counter the pain!

Enter Brittany. I love this girl and trust her with my life. I couldn't get The Hacker on the phone, so I call my trusty daughter and she came and saved the day. The Reader's Digest version of the "Rest of the Story" is simply this. I was admitted to have the stone surgically removed and darn it all if 1 hour prior to the procedure, that little monster was ejected from the premises. It now sits at the kidney stone museum for young moms and dads to take the young ones to see and use as a cautionary tale.

I would like to express my deep thankfulness to those who visited me, called me, texted me, and quite frankly put up with me. I am grateful for the love and concern of family and friends. It sure makes going through the sucky things in life much more manageable. You are all my "angels". Thank you.

P.S. I've already forgiven The Hacker. He's kind of cute, don't you think?

...and this too, shall pass...

Charmen is out of the hospital!

Her kidney stone decided to pass afterall.

Whoo hoo!

The men are in charge!

Allow me to introduce myself. I am Lee. Yes, the Lee that Charmen is always bragging about: Lee snores, Lee cusses, Lee will not take the trash out...

My wonderful bride of these many years, is ailing, but she does not want anyone to know. So, in this vane, if you do not know Charmen or do not want to know she is sick, please close your browser now.

Those in the know, know that Charmen has a kidney stone. Darn if that thing just will not pass peacefully. She is currently in the hospital getting yet another CT scan to see where it is. She will likely be spending the night at the hospital at Higley and the 60; Banner Gateway, Banner Another Banner Hospital, Look There's Another Banner Hospital, or something like that.

To her friends, these are the gals that know how to play Bunco and may have scored a bunco or two on her, she could use a friendly call to cheer her up. I will not give out her cell phone number here, you will need to call me at home or just show up to the hospital.

Remember, Lee did not say anything, he just cracked a password or two.

Poor me

I suppose this is the cosmos exacting revenge for my incredibly cruel (to my son, Mark) April Fools' prank. The pains started about a week and a half ago. A little twinge here, an hour of pain there. It would always relent though. Then came 8:00pm last Thursday evening. The pain hit yet again and this time decided to stay, so I left for the ER.

Yes, it's a stone. About 4mm in size. Nothing too cute, of course. The mention of the word "stone" conjurs to the mind a rock with smooth surfaces, glistening in the sunlight as the creek water rushes over it. Google "pictures of kidney stones" and see how scary they can really be!

I had made a promise, written in blood, that I would never go through this experience ever again in life! The first and last kidney stone I had was the same one. I was 7 months pregnant with Mark, nearly 14 years ago and this one was the size of an M&M. A plain chocolate one, not the peanut or almond ones. Anyone ever notice that they tend to compare it with something so inocuous that it sounds like it should be a pleasant experience? I ended up with a nephrostomy tube in my kidney for 3 months!

What is a nephrostomy you ask? Well, this is what they do when there is a little bambino in the oven and they can't do anything else to/for you. They insert a tube through your back, and stop every few millimeters to ultrasound where the tube is, until it is inserted in the kidney. Let me just say, that this is done with no anesthesia and hurts like a very hot place.

The tube is attached to a little pouch that is connected to a very cute, stretchy "belt" that is worn under the shirt and fills up with your, you guessed it, urine! Anytime I went shopping I was afraid that the store security would think I was shoplifting and that I would, at some point, get to lift up my shirt and show them my cache of stolen goods.

Right now I have four prescriptions added to my daily routine. One of the prescriptions, Flomax, is routinely prescribed to men with enlarged prostates. Are we trying to tell me something? Brittany has been having a little fun with me and saying that I may come out with a lower voice when all is said and done.;)

I've got to go now. I need to make a quick run to the store and buy a "tea strainer".