It's now 2011. The world was supposed to cease in 2000 with all that Y2K stuff, and yet here we are. The world is supposed to be ending next year too. Somehow, I think we'll all live past that one too.
This is probably the first new year of my life that I haven't felt hopeful at all for a new year. Depressing, huh? I have no resolutions made since I don't believe in resolutions. Resolutions and actual change are the stuff of fairy tales. Time has taught me one thing. There is no such thing as happily ever after.
I have had so many things I have wanted to do with my life and now I fear that I will never attain those things. My life has been one of getting other people where they are going. I've envied the stay at home moms who can raise their children and develop their talents. I've envied the women who have obtained their higher degrees of education. I've envied the women whose husbands and parents supported them with their goals. I've envied those that have seemed to have gotten out of life what I've desperately wanted, but for whatever reason has been withheld from me.
I want to be happy. I want to have joy. It just seems to come in very microscopic bursts and is not lasting. I hate where my blog has gone and wish that I had never started it to begin with. It's posts like this that I am sure why I have been deleted from others blogrolls. No one wants to listen to a whiner and complainer.
Happy 2011-the sky is falling, the sky IS falling.
2 comments:
Actually, the reason why you haven't been deleted from mine and the reason that I love that you blog is this: I can relate to you... in a BIG way. For years I felt jealous of women that could stay home, now I'm jealous of women who work in an office, with REAL people who can talk about things other than poop, farts, and who don't moon me on a daily basis. :)
I think there is good everywhere, but it's hidden sometimes by our own attitude. I have a horrible attitude about somethings, but there are other topics that probe unfailingly that Heavenly Father loves me... Me! I know that both of us will come out stronger in the end. I've got a ton of questions for the Lord when I meet with Him again.
Well, the sky isn't falling, the world isn't coming to an end too soon. . . I wish you could see the good in yourself. I'm sorry for whatever I should be sorry about, but I love you. I'm glad you married my son and I can't change anything about him or you. You both are wonderful. Love you.
Post a Comment