I anticipate that I am only writing this post for myself at this point. I figure enough time has gone by, and people will have quit checking to see if I have updated my blog.
I have had a hard time recovering from the last year of my life. Having a lifelong battle with depression has not helped me succeed in recovering either. I didn't even send out Christmas cards for the first time in 22 years. I would tell the story of why, but, I can't.
Admitting that you suffer from depression is a double edged sword for the sufferer. You can be going along living your life, and the minute something is amiss, there must be something wrong with you, the sufferer. "Are you taking your medication?" is the frequent and oft asked question. As if because you take medication you aren't allowed to get upset ever or that people can crap all over you and you stand there and take it with a smile.
Doesn't quite work that way.
I am trying to dig out. I am irretrievably behind in everything that I do. Let's call a spade a spade. I am imperfect in all that I do. I don't need someone to tell me that I'm not that, it won't help. Don't break into my blog and write for me what you wish I would write. My blog is just that. My blog. If you want to say something, start one for yourself.
This was a spot where I used to feel pretty darn creative and I have lost that. I want it to come back, but it hasn't yet. I still feel really raw and beaten down.
So, if you're still with me, welcome. I anticipate writing something worth reading real soon.
2 years ago
6 comments:
I'm still here! I don't completely understand how you feel, but I can sympathize with you on some of it. Life is hard and I appreciate that you take it as it comes, you deal with it instead of ignore it.
I think you're awesome... always have, always will.
I'm still here too. I love you Charmen! We're all imperfect, you're not the only one. I'm sorry things are tough for you right now. I'm proud of you for admitting that you're depressed, it's not easy to do (some members of my family also deal with depression). Just know that I love ya and am here for you if you need a friend.
Well said!
I have to take a hormone pill every day for a thyroid problem, and every time I am out of sorts, my husband assumes I need a different level, or it's time to see the doctor again.
I'm sorry you aren't in a happy place now. You deserve joy and peace, and I know it will come to you again.
Welcome back, Charmen. I check your blog every day, and missed your Christmas letter. You are loved, very much.
Depression, anxiety what are we going to do? Don't feel bad I can't seem to want to blog these days either. Hey we really need to plan a girls night. We don't have any birthdays coming up for awhile. Just remember I am only a phone call away.:D
Charmen, I am still with you. That is what I love about you is you write from your heart. Stay strong and yes you do have alot of friends that do understand the Depression, you are not alone.
I love ya.
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