I had my annual visit of dread to my gynecologist on Monday. Stop me if you've heard this one before. You're sitting in the waiting room and the front desk gal calls out from behind the window, "Mrs. Johnson, we're gonna need a sample." Well, fortunately for me, I had drank a fair amount of water before I left and was prepared to offer my specimen.
I'm finally called back and taken to the "smaller waiting room" otherwise known as the examination room. The nurse takes my weight (I HATE SCALES!!!), my blood pressure, and asks if I'm having any problems. I tell her, "Well, I haven't had a monthly in 2 months and I'm not pregnant, is that a problem?" She laughs and writes it on my chart, and I further tell her that my husband keeps bugging me and asking if I'm pregnant. I told her that I told him, "Let's operate on the idea that I'm NOT unless I tell you different." She laughs again and directs me to 'the gown' and that 'everything comes off'.
So anyway, my doctor comes in and I rehash what I told the nurse, and she asks why I haven't had a monthly in 2 months. I tell her that I don't know, but, my husband thinks I'm either pregnant or under a lot of stress. She asks about hot flashes and the like. I ask, "Are you telling me I'm old?" "No, you're a too young for that, besides then I'd be old next year." So now I know that my gyno is 39 years old.
Well out come the stirrups and, of course, this is my FAVORITE part of the visit. She notices my height once again and says, "Oh, let me extend these for you." Holy cow!!! I was easily more comfortable immediately! It was the first time EVER that my knees weren't around my ears!!!
Long story short, I have to have some bloodwork done to check my female hormone levels. I'm afraid they'll tell me I'm no longer a woman;) So out I skipped with my lab order, my prescription, and my order for my mammogram. Joy of joys, we'll discuss "The Girls" at a later date. Until then......
3 comments:
You are to funny!!! I got a kick out of this. Thank you for sharing your most deep and personal moments..It was...shall I say "touching."
Hey... coming from a younger girl who is already in/past menopause... they'll think you're young enough to be pregnant... even if you have no more 'monthly's. Funny... no matter what I tell the doctor's offices... when I tell them what my last monthly is... they insist on doing a test.... which is dumb, considering it is physically impossible for me!!... but they don't have the proof at hand, so they do it anyway. SO Ridiculous!!
I love my Gyno, but I hate seeing her. It's like, eek, really. And yet, I think we'd have a good time at lunch. Keep us posted on your testing outcomes, I am dying to know why you've missed a few!
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