Phelps Phan

Great News!!!! I am so excited! It couldn't have happened to a better person! On September 13, 2008 at 10:30 p.m., I will be glued to the TV to watch Michael Phelps host the season premiere of Saturday Night Live! Pure Genius! Those folks over at SNL sure have their finger on my pulse.

I got a funny email from a friend today. The following is for adult viewers only, so if you have little children, I'll wait for you to scoot them out of the room. I don't want to be held responsible for any conversations that you aren't ready to have.

Are they out yet?

Okay.

Here you go.






Isn't that just so adorable?

My husband will love this one

High Heels

What kind of shoe are you?

Of course I would be high heels! Was there ever any doubt? One of Lee's favorite comments about me is that when people naturally say something about my height, he is sure to say something about the four inch heels I like to wear as well.

That's right! I LOVE to look down upon my kingdom and squash all of the little ant people!

Seriously, what's wrong with tall women wearing heels? I am no wilting flower that will wear flats so that my husband will look not so short, as Nicole Kidman was wont to do when she was married to Shorty Cruise. I have loved high heels since I was a little girl, the higher the better.

Disclaimer: This post in no way should be construed as a prejudice against those that are vertically challenged, you know who you are:)

My lil' lobster

Aahh Brittany. Girl goes to river with a friend. Girl says she reapplied sunscreen. Girl missed like, her whole body. Girl is a.........



Girl is burned the worst on her little patootie. I asked Girl, "Did you ride down the river on your tummy?" Girl replies, "Yeah, most of the time." She is my lobster and I love her.

I'm a Nut.....but, you may already have known that.

You Are a Hazelnut

You are very unique and distinct. You may even freak some people out. Most people don't really know how to interact with you. You get along best with anyone who is super sweet. But you really do get along with almost anyone. You just need a chance to wow them.

What Nut Are You?

What do you think? I hope that I don't freak anyone out, except for the Amazonian tallness. If I freak you out or if you don't know how to interact with me, please leave me a comment. Maybe I need to take this test again.

Life is not a rehearsal......

It is a soap opera, but I wish it was a sitcom. You know like the Cosby Show?

I love the Cosby Show. It takes me back to a simpler time. Claire was the quintessential mother who rarely had her feathers ruffled where her children were concerned. Where can I get some of that?

I think I am Claire's polar opposite. My feathers are all over the room at times. I have a tendency to exude calm, cool, collection. That is my facade.

I loved the elaborate lessons the Cosby children were taught. Remember the one with Theo living on his own? Money lesson learned in one half hour. Or the one where Theo was on trial for telling half truths and other deceptions? Yet another courtroom drama wrapped up in, you guessed it, one half hour.

Where am I going with all of this? I think it can be wrapped up neatly in the Serenity Prayer. "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

In the immortal words of Frank Costanza, "Serenity Now, Serenity Now!"

What a Cutie Patootie Pie

This post is dedicated to a very gifted athlete. I have been watching the Olympics, paying especially rapt attention to this handsome young man. In some ways, he reminds me of Andrew.



The sheer power, the 6 foot 7 inch wing span, the incredible strength. I mean, "I'm scared of you!"



Every night as I watched him prepare for his swims, I would wonder aloud, "What is he listening to on that Ipod?"



When I workout, I'm usually listening to upbeat dance music or some hip hop lite. No gangsta rap here. Foshizzle. It turns out that when he is in the "zone" he is listening to hip hop, particulary Lil Wayne. Just thought you might like to know that.



I'm not particularly fond of Lil Wayne, but it must be working for him. This is what pure joy looks like!

Probably what I can appreciate the most about Michael Phelps, besides that perfectly chiseled physique, and his boyish handsomeness is........


He loves his momma!

Dancing in the street

When my children were smaller, I used to tell them a funny little story about the first day of school. I told them that on the first day of school, after all of the kids went to school, me and all of the other moms would dance in the street. For a couple of years I told them I got to LEAD the dance in the street. They eventually caught on, but it was fun while it lasted.


Here is Mark. Mark is so happy because it is the first day of school. He's happy because summer vacation was so boring, what with all the video game playing, sleeping in, and playing with friends all day. I'd need a break from that lifestyle too. Actually, he is smiling this funny smile because I said a funny word that he wasn't expecting.

See how studly Mark has become? It's his first day of Junior High and we have grown up so much. He looks so much older to me:( My baby! Speaking of baby; Mark had his dental visit and cleaning on Thursday morning. His teeth were all nice and sparkly white. No cavities either. He did have one small annoyance though, what with his newly discovered grown up personna and all. One last baby tooth. A BABY tooth!!!

Mark took matters into his own "hands" and had that baby out the very next night! I just had it cleaned! What, no more tooth fairy either? What am I good for anymore now?

Well, Mark had a good first day of school and just as I had predicted:



He was fast asleep on the couch within an hour of returning home for the day.